For many years, I assumed that the hardest part of retirement would be financial. Once the money question was answered, I thought the next chapter would naturally take care of itself.
I have come to understand that financial independence answers only part of the question. After years shaped by work, responsibility, and achievement, there are other things to consider: how we spend our days, where we belong, and what gives us a sense of contribution.
That realization is part of why Kevin Murphy and I are launching The Second Formation™. We want to create room for people to reflect on the lives they have lived and consider, in thoughtful company, how they want to live now.
The questions that brought me here
Retirement made these questions more visible to me. A career provides structure, relationships, and a familiar way of understanding who we are. When that structure changes, even a welcome freedom can take some getting used to.
What do I want to do with my time? Where do I still feel useful, alive, and connected? Which interests have I set aside that I might now return to?
As we have developed The Second Formation, our invitation has widened. These questions belong to many seasons of adult life. Children leave home. Parents need more care. Relationships change. A demanding role ends, or a new one asks more of us than we expected. Sometimes life is going well, yet we sense that something important deserves more attention.
People may arrive by different routes and still recognize something of themselves in one another’s questions.
Why formation matters
I use the word formation because our lives continue to shape us. Our habits, responsibilities, relationships, and assumptions influence who we become. Taking time to notice those influences gives us a greater say in what we carry forward.
For me, that means asking whether the familiar way forward is still the one I want to choose. It means making room to reconsider what matters, revisit an interest, or try something I have postponed.
The questions can be quite practical. What conversation have I been avoiding? What responsibility needs a clearer limit? What would I enjoy doing again? What would be worth trying for a month?
Why a small group
There are things we discover in conversation that are difficult to see alone. Another person’s story can bring an experience of our own into focus. A thoughtful question can interrupt an assumption we have carried for years.
The Second Formation brings together six to eight adults for guided reflection and honest conversation. We welcome both men and women. Participants bring different experiences, with a shared willingness to listen and consider their own lives with curiosity.
I know that joining a group asks something of a person. Trust takes time. Participants choose what they wish to share, and the facilitators guide the conversation with care. There is room to listen, find words gradually, and become more comfortable as relationships develop.
There is also room for laughter, enjoyment, and the pleasure of getting to know people beyond their titles and responsibilities. That is part of the experience I hope we create together.
Reflection that enters daily life
Our cohort journey opens with an in-person retreat and continues through guided conversations and time for reflection between gatherings. The Second Formation Journal offers a place to consider the experiences that have shaped us, notice recurring themes, and explore what deserves attention now.
The value will take a different form for each participant. It may be clearer priorities, a more honest conversation with a spouse, a renewed friendship, or a decision about how to spend the coming year. It may begin with recognizing a question that has been waiting to be heard.
We are building a new program, and we will learn from these first cohorts. What we can offer from the beginning is a thoughtful structure, attentive facilitation, and a commitment to receiving each person with dignity.
An invitation
Tony’s Table is where I will share my reflections as this work develops: what I am noticing, the questions I am considering, and what I continue to learn about living this part of life.
You do not need to be retired to join us. You may be in the middle of a significant transition, or simply ready to give more attention to something that matters.
If there is a question in your life you would welcome time and company to explore, I hope you will begin a conversation with us.
Learn more: secondformation.com
Inquiries: inquire@thesecondformation.com
The Second Formation™ Space to reflect. Room to become.